I don’t know what’s been causing it the past few weeks, if it’s the serious realization that there are no guarantees with invetro, if it’s my crazy hormones from all the meds, or if I’m just turning in to "that Mom"… but I just keep trying to memorize every single moment. Every single smell, every single kiss, every single fit… I just am all of the sudden soooo scared I’m going to forget. Cooper is growing so fast. He’s hit a height spurt these past few weeks and is looking like a boy, not a baby. Once a week or so I end up holding Cooper while he’s asleep… moving him to bed from the car, or in the camper, and truthfully, I can’t hardly stand to lay him down. I know these sweet baby moments are becoming few and far between and I just want to hang on to every moment. I already forget what it was like to hold him when he was so tiny. I remember the happiness… but I forget the moment… the actual “feel”. I don’t remember every detail of all those midnight feedings, and the smell of six months of baby puke has long since faded. Who would think I could ever miss the smell of baby puke? Cooper is about to be 18 months old, and I know the next 18 months are going to go by even faster… I don’t want to stop time, I just want to vividly remember every. single. second.
Shot July 18th of last year… He wasn’t crawling yet. Just hours in the exersaucer and lots and lots of giggling. That same day I shot about 20 shots of him scooting his face all over the bed with his butt stuck in the air and rolling back and forth trying to get somewhere. I just knew he was going to crawl anyday… turns out it was like two more months!