My name is Cooper. I have a problem. I… I eat dog food. I know it’s wrong… I just can’t help myself. It’s like an endless buffet of stinky goodness taunting me in the stainless bowl from the corner of the kitchen. My Dad says no-no… my Mom swats my behind… but the power of the dog food consumes me. I love the crunchy texture, I love that mush that runs out of my mouth all over my chin, I love the stench of Purina Sensitive Systems Small Bites on my breath. Why should Louie get all the good stuff? Why shouldn’t I be allowed to eat from matching bowls on the floor? They say the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem… I’m not sure I have a problem yet.
Cooper D. McCloy (my Mom made me write this)